The Beast – Hard as Nails

It’s not every day that a limousine is equipped with more protection than a tank, but in today’s world, where security threats are a daily occurrence, it’s necessary. “The Beast” is one of these heavily armored vehicles. The name might conjure images of a bloodthirsty wild animal that cannot be tamed, peering through the night looking for its next victim. However, rather than capturing its prey, “The Beast” protects. It is fitted with enough armored protection to withstand most terrorist threats and is the car of choice for none other than the President himself. If you were considering getting one of these, think again. The Cadillac One is rumored to have cost a whopping $1.5 million. Here are six things you may not have known about the President’s car.

She is not a lightweight

The Beast is one big mamma. Weighing in at approximately 20,000lb, the equivalent of 60,000 tins of baked beans, she is weighty, but it is no wonder when you carry enough armor to ward off an IED explosion. Her doors alone weigh the same as those on a 757 airplane, and her windows are 5” thick. It’s the accessories that make her heavy. As an added piece of information, this excuse does not work when weighing in humans; I’ve tried and failed.

She isn’t who she says she is

The Beast is also called The Cadillac One. However, she is far from a Cadillac. Her chassis, transmission, and diesel engine are based on a Chevrolet Kodiak, a commercial truck usually more at home hauling heavy goods around the country. Her predecessors were all Cadillacs, but apart from a little piece of design work on her exterior and her headlights, there is nothing else in there that is Cadillac. Ah, and her badge, she shares that with over 3 million other Cadillacs in America.

She never travels alone.

Just like the President himself, the Beast will never travel alone. She has her mechanic and specially trained Secret Service pilot on whenever she travels. Her driver is highly skilled in defensive driving, able to perform J turns, and can use evasive techniques at the drop of a hat. We would love to see all 18 feet of her doing a J-turn in a busy parking lot. Can you imagine the carnage?

She has an issue with maneuverability.

We have established she is no ballerina, but the irony of The Cadillac One and her seriously armored body is that she quite famously got stuck in Dublin, of all places. Yes, she can deflect bullets and withstand an IED, but she is not the most agile creature in the world, having gotten stuck on a raised curb in 2011. I could drop some jokes about her ample bottom and weight issue, but with her ability to stop all but an atomic bomb, I’m not sure they would be justifiable.

She is slower than a Fiat 500

So elephants are not renowned for being the fastest animals on the planet, nor is the presidential car. With a top speed of just 60MPH, she isn’t winning any land speed records, but when you have access to your super-duper shiny plane, who needs to travel quickly across land? Unfortunately, averaging just 8MPG, she is also not the most economical vehicle on the planet, but when you carry around 60,000 cans of baked beans, who would be?

The Beast has its blood store and armory.

She is well-equipped for almost any event. She is a firefighter, and an emergency room and security are all rolled into one. It is pretty common knowledge that she holds a tank of the President’s blood type in the trunk in case of dire emergencies. Still, it isn’t so widely known that she holds shotguns, has special seals around the doors to prevent bio-chemical contamination, and has installed tear gas canisters. It is also rumored that she will carry grenade launchers, although this information has never been confirmed. There are two things we can bring from this 1) Do not mess with her 2) She’s potentially downright dangerous. So here we have it. The Beast, The Cadillac One, or Limo One. She is as hard as nails and approaches at your peril, just like her funky nickname.